Fear of Failure

I'm a senior in college, I'll be graduating in May, and I don't know how that's an actual sentence coming out of my mouth. It doesn't even feel like I won't be going back to school after this summer. All my life I've held on desperately to the idea of summer, and free time but then there is always that "going back to structure" feeling. I always go back to school at the end of August...not this year.

I have this fear of failure. I'm majoring in Communcation (with a film concentration), and minoring in Journalism. It feels like I can go into so many fields: television, movies, magazines, newspapers, newsrooms, communication office jobs...so many options! But then I consider how difficult it is to break into this industry.

I was lucky enough to get an interview for Teen Vogue last May, but I was freshly out of my junior year of college, and this job was entry-level...I was out of the game.

I've bounced back and forth between what I want, and what I don't want, and it can get a bit much for me sometimes. I'll wonder if I made the right choice going into this field, I remembered wanting to be a teacher all of my life and then I got to high school and suddenly I decide to change my mind. Now I'm considering applying for a t.v. writing program, interning on movie sets, writing for a magazine, working in a newsroom.

It is daunting to not know what will come after I receive this diploma I've been working so hard for these last 4 years. What happens if I can't make it? I don't have any connections, will the work I have be enough to get me in?

I'm only 22, it's young, I'm closer to 20 than I am to 30. However, the idea that you should be successful and thriving by 25 weighs heavy on my shoulders. I have to constantly remind myself that all good things come, and happen with time.

I have to work hard, but it's okay to take my time.