The College Freshman Diaries: Week 2 & 3


Hey there!

I hope your school year (if you are a student, if not, your year) is going fantastic. I really do mean that because I know school can be tough and can seriously work you up in some unhealthy ways, education and peers and all that jazz. Let's make the most of it though!

See, all my life I've gone through school years with thoughts that certain people were my friends when in reality they were just there for a moment, and whatever, that's cool you know people will enter and exit my life and they'll teach me something. Sometimes it's hard to know whether new people you meet, will turn out to be a good friend or pal of yours, or if they just decided to have a little convo with you until they were more comfortable and had someone else they actually wanted to befriend. 

That is all something that is part of not only a new place, with new people, but also of your current situation. You can never really know someone's intentions, and that is a bit frightening. What if these people just want you to hang around with once or twice, and when you think you'll become good friends they ditch you for someone else? But it is all part of learning different personalities, and finding the right people for you and your lifetime.

My week 2 of college held some of those discoveries, or rediscoveries. 
See, the first day of one of my classes, I found myself befriending a girl, we even hung out after class, the next friday we met up before class and spent the morning figuring out the printers/printing system, we bought some coffee and headed to class.
Soon, it was obvious to me that she had a closer acquaintance in the class. Ever since then they've sat next to each other and walked out of class together, cool. She still smiles at me and acknowledges me but it doesn't look like it will grow into a close friendship. That's OK. Not everyone you meet if going to be your bff.

It is a constant discovery of situations as you grow, you change and other people will change for you to see what you must do to keep going. But one thing is certain, and that is the fact that you must always support yourself. You must give your self pep talks and lift yourself up, don't let the opinions or comments of others affect your perspective, your belief in yourself. You know how an engine keeps a car running, it needs gas to go, obviously the car needs someone to put the gas in it, it can't do that on its own. You are the car, alright, and you need your engine to keep going, and you need gas, and there are the people that will help you put that gas in. Whether you know that they are helping you with the gas or not, there are people that do it.
When you find yourself doubting your abilities and intentions, the reason you do what you do. Think, and confirm. Reassure yourself, and talk yourself through it all.

Monday morning I had a bit of an anxiety situation, where I was a bit shaky and I felt, trapped, almost. On my way to class I talked to myself, in my mind, and I spoke to myself as if I were a friend comforting another. Now don't think I'm going a bit wacky, it was just something that I felt would reassure me and comfort me. 

I'm currently sitting in the library listening to some music (Ed Sheeran, so if my writing seems dramatic and emotional, that is the reason).

See, last week I felt a bit off. I was under the weather most of the week, for no apparent reason honestly. But over the weekend I found myself cheering up, I guess we all have those weeks. This week I'm feeling a bit better.

It is now the Saturday of my "Week 3" and I found that this week was actually a really nice one, I spent some of my breaks with friends and we walked to class together and it was really nice and enjoyable.

On Monday I have to do this presentation that I am not really looking forward to, but it is part of the class, we're always doing presentations and speaking in front of the class. meh. But I'm doing alright, getting through nicely.

The whole week was a good one, today was a Day of Service at my school so we went into town and cleaned up, painted, according to what our groups was assigned to. My group spent some nice funny time waiting for our transportation and then we headed off to a local school and cleaned up the play area and left it nice and clean for the kids.

I think that involving myself with outside of school activities is something that I should do more often, because they turn out being really fun and you end up making pals that you might not have made in class.

This a quick little post, a lot of writing, I'm sorry for that. There were no pictures to post. So if you read through the entire thing. Thanks, you're too cool and too amazing for me to be able to express adequately.

love, J

(I promise on trying to find some sort of pictures for the future posts related to this "series")