Whaatttt a Desireeeee!!

All my life I have been a book freak.

I'm serious, I read so many books, and I still do just with moderation because school takes up a lot of my time.

I used to read Cam Jansen and Amelia Bedelia and whole lot of other books. I would sit and read and finish them in a day or two, and I would wake up early to read. Book freak.

Now, when I start a book I have to make sure that I don't have other things to do for school or anything like that because, obviously, school is my first priority.

Ever since I was a child I have wanted to write a book. And I have had ideas come to my mind, different story lines and plots, and sometimes I come up with an entire conversation or scene between characters that I have no idea about, they are faceless and they have no story to them and I just imagine it.

It all comes so easy to me in my mind and then when I sit at the computer and try to type up this wonderful story I just cannot do it. I get stuck and I get frustrated and I just think about how awful I am, I think about how cheesy the line is and how it isn't even realistic. I think that is where my problem is.

I read about many authors and I read those little FAQs in the back of their books, I read about how long it took them to write the story, the road blocks (or should I say writer's block?) and the difficulties, the lack of creativity and all that. The amount of times they questioned their work, the story and the characters. They were unsure how to do this or that so they moved to another point of the story, they wrote the end to come up with the rest of the book, they stopped at the middle and read it all over and decided they wanted to change the way this happened and the result it had.

That all stresses me out. I like to have everything perfect. I like to have it happen in chronological order and I want to write my way to the end, I don't want to decide the end at the beginning, I want to decide the end when I get there. And I know I can do that, I can wait for my ending to happen when I get there, it's just everything else that I have difficulty with.

It has always been a dream of mine to write a book, and I know I still have time, and I know that if I really set myself to it, and I really believe in myself...I will be able to write that book, no matter how long it takes me.

SO believe in yourself no matter how hard things get because when you set your mind and heart on something, and you persevere, you come out the victor.

Go out there and show yourself and the world, what you're made of. Even if it does take a while longer than you would prefer. -J